“Lyndy feels specific and real. She is funny, impulsive, maternal, vain, vulnerable, and restless. Her contradictions are interesting—she wants safety and normalcy for Mari but is clearly drawn to risk and impulsivity. Her relationship with Mari works well because it gives emotional stakes…”  – V. M. Matthews

“The descriptions included in this draft, particularly at the beginning of the chapter, are impeccably done. You demonstrate a clear facility with using setting descriptions to set the tone of the novel. If I were reading this as a novel, I’d continue reading out of curiosity about the place and the strangeness of Lyndy encountering someone she knows here in the character of Rochelle. While the mystery of Claire’s disappearance is certainly interesting, I am most interested in the dynamic between Lyndy and Rochelle and how their interactions is going to change Lyndy’s character, perhaps giving her a bit of her old confidence back.” – A. Burns

For the 2024 manuscript: “Sunriver Heart: A Lyndy Martinez Story“

Here is the best feedback I ever got as a writer. This person gets Lyndy and Me 🙂

“I’d like to begin with what I admire about this manuscript. That’s easy for me. You’ve created such compelling characters and placed them within such an interesting world! I was immediately drawn to Lyndy and to Catherine—the latter from the first page, the former as the pages went on. By the time I reached the end of the fifty pages, I was very invested in what might happen to these two characters, and I was very enamored with their friendship as well. Additionally, the supporting characters (Nash and Mari Ellis) you crafted are also engaging and interesting. I’m a reader who loves well-developed and realistic characters (I suppose, who isn’t?) but liking all these characters was important to me (and I think important for a series), and I just want to let you know how successfully you’ve done that.”

“The building blocks of good fiction, as I like to think of them as, are all present in this manuscript. Scene-setting is well done; the dialogue is well done (and is realistic, too. I like how you captured particular idiosyncrasies and dialects). There’s adequate (but not too much) description. The pacing and mood are consistent. (Never did I, as a reader, feel jerked around or surprised by anything.) And this manuscript does something else spectacular, which is to be funny! There are so many sincerely humorous parts of this story that stem from the Lyndy-Catherine friendship, but some laughs come from other places, too. The interspersed observations from Lyndy are a big source of humor, for me, too.” — Colleen

Here are a handful of nice critiques I received for Salton Sink, after I entered it in a contest:

“I really like your heroine. She is someone I’d like to read about during an entire novel. I like her cat too. 🙂 You do a good job of giving the reader her point of view. Ditto with your other characters.”  -Judge 223

“Overall, I really like your plot and character. You do well getting into the character’s head and giving her back story so the reader can identify and care about what happens. This is an interesting combination of plot and character though, and I wish you the best with it!” -Judge 223

“Well done! Even though it reminded me of Evanovich’s characters and plot line with her numbers series, you sucked me in.” -Judge 407

“Character development is definitely your strength. I love Rochelle, and Del for that matter. Chan is well-crafted, too. Very enjoyable characters!” -Judge 407

“Fine opening: engages quickly and effectively.” -Judge 139