Tag Archives: motherhood

Valley Girl Part-11

Valley Girl: A Lyndy Martinez Story, Part-11

Coconino County Az, 2010s

Lyndy Life Observation: I’m watching a video on YouTube called “Three hours of nothing but Curly” from The Three Stooges. Excellent use of time.

As the trite phrase goes, they didn’t let just anyone in here.

Used to be “salt-of-the-earth” Arizonans with a blue-collar job could scrape together enough cash to join the riding club, on a month-to-month membership. Nowadays it was downtown yuppie village, inhabited by cardiologists, partners in law firms and so-called finance bros. The only ordinary earthlings were gardeners, servers, people who mucked out stalls and the weekly pool guy.

Of course, the club had a poolside restaurant, serving avocado topped black bean burgers in addition to the usual fare of Caesar salads, sandwiches and wraps. The bar had craft beers and trendy mocktails too. When not shouting into a phone about business loans, one could listen to the calming rhythm of canned Jimmy Buffet tunes, or watch the show ponies trot in nearby corrals. Lot of neighing action that way.

Cathy kept her sunglasses on, Liz Taylor style and tried to blend in. Steps away from the grill were cabana chairs, where housewives would lay out and tan while their teenagers did whatever you do on a horse; practice for polo matches or eventing. Some of these people had Arabians too, competing in far off lands like Dubai.

But Catherine wasn’t paying attention to any of that showy stuff. Lyndy had given her a lead on this place, as a prime spot to surprise the elusive Mari Ellis. She’d chosen a seat in the corner where she could keep one eye on the kitchen exit, sipping a diet coke as twenty-something servers came and went.

She recognized the Spitfire-clone easily. Mari was the tallest, and the only cowgirl with the same hair as Lyndy Martinez—dark with natural curls. A perfect smile. Brown eyes. She was wearing one of those neck chokers, shiny silver with a locket. She moved skillfully, whisking a tray of cocktails and beers high above her head. Her halter shirt was sized for a shorter torso, revealing much of her tan back and portions of her colorful tattoos.

Cathy clasped her hands, waiting like a cat ready to pounce on a gopher hole.

On the adjacent table she’d set out a trap: three one-hundred-dollar bills oriented like a peace sign. A handsome tip, from the man who’d been seated here previously. Except that bloke hadn’t left a cash tip, just some scribbles on his receipt. She gazed into the green coke bottle, making the view to the steeplechase like a kaleidoscope.

It was on the return tour, having delivered her many drinks poolside, when the maiden deviated from her bee-line path. Without so much as a passing glance, Mari reached out a hand to claw the money as she zipped by. She hadn’t paid any attention to the aunt-like figure leaning against the rail.

“When is your next court date?” cracked Cathy, knowing she’d surprised the brat.

Mari looked up at her with serious eyes, letting go of the cash and yanking her left hand back.

“I read the arrest report,” added Cathy, her voice lowered so no one would overhear.

“Hi Miss Cookson,” said Maribel, shy and lacking emotion. “Didn’t see you over …”

Deep inside, Catherine was consumed by envy once again. A stabbing feeling in the gut. Some things one never knows they desire in life, until they see a close friend with it. It was that way with Lyndy’s girl. It filled her with regret.

Cathy cleared her throat, then asked: “Did you know my dad was a preacher?”

Maribel nodded with a little “mmm-hmm” setting down her tray. She tilted her head. “Miss Cookson, I’m uh … not too interested in a pep talk today. I don’t know what to say.” She reached up to loosen her collar. Her necklace seemed to be bothering her as well, and she began to roll it between her finger and thumb. “I’m sorry for being rude to you the other morning at the trailer park. You caught me at a bad time.”

“It’s alright,” replied Cathy.

This youngster oozed with the arrogance of her mother at the same age. The way she thought she knew the world forward and back. And yet, Catherine still adored her. She took a breath, pressing down all emotion.

“It’s not okay,” admitted Maribel. “I was being disrespectful.” Mari scooted back the empty stool next to Cathy to rest her arms upon. A moment passed, with no words spoken, just the background of the kitchen and the interminable boat music at the bar.

Cathy tried again. “My dad used to preach, if there was a million dollars in cash on the table—stacked in hundred-dollar bills like a pyramid—he wouldn’t touch it. He wouldn’t take it if it meant he had to tell a lie.”

Mari blinked, exhaling a deep sigh.

“He wouldn’t take it cause it would turn his soul black.”

“Bet my mom would take it, if she could,” countered Mari with a frown.

Cathy shook her head. “I don’t believe it. No way.”

Mari turned to lock eyes. “How do you know? My mom is kind of a schemer.”

“She isn’t motivated by money.”

Maribel sniffed and shrugged. “Everyone needs money.”

“Except this kind of lying isn’t worth it. When you lie, your soul slowly begins turning gray. Every time you do, more and more of it rots til it’s all black. At a certain point, there’s no coming back.”

Mari looked down at the table and the trio of hundred-dollar bills. “Feels like people are always lying and cheating to get what they want. It’s not even a big deal. It’s normalized.”

“Your mom’s closest friend was a billionaire. Your dad is one of the wealthiest businessmen in Lake Arrowhead. Lyndy could’ve finagled anything she wanted from either of those people, because they loved her. Don’t ya think Rita owed her a living?” Cathy gazed out at the tree lined hills. “Don’t go spreading this around. It might cause hurt feelings. But you’re definitely Kyle’s favorite kid.”

Mari chuckled. “What makes you think that? I’m not exactly a success story.”

“Your mom was his favorite partner.”

“Ewww,” muttered Mari under her breath.

“You weren’t the one driving the car, right?”

Mari shook her head.

“It’s funny. When I first met you, I was so jealous of your mom. I had this belief that I would never come to like you—I would never let Lyndy win, by loving her kid. But I was wrong. I came here to give you this noble lecture about lying and all that. But it doesn’t feel right, even to me.” Cathy took another sip of coke, then sniffed. “I started thinking while I was watching you serve drinks; how smart you are. I’ve seen you work on a computer—doing stuff I couldn’t dream of—and fixing those import cars. I started thinking how much you look like your mom. And it made me really mad. Cause why the hell are you riding in a goddamn SUV being driven by drunk people?” Cathy raised her voice. “If that truck overturned at speed, and you were ejected and crushed.” Cathy shrugged. “Maybe it would hurt for only a moment or two. But your mom and dad would have to live the rest of their lives without the most precious thing they created. Can you even fathom that?”

Mari reached down to her waist, retrieving a black bar towel. She began dabbing the edges of her eyes. “You’re messing up my eye makeup.” She hung her head, flicking open her phone. She used the front facing camera as a mirror.

“Then you need to come clean!”

“It’s too late Miss Cookson. There’s not much I can do. The part that stings, was seeing how dad looked at me, so disappointed. I’ve never felt that before.”

“Duh. You’re his favorite. He has no reason to be disappointed. You weren’t driving, you goof. It’s not your DUI. It’s your worthless boyfriend’s arrest. You know what you need to do right?”

“What?”

“Go to the court hearing obviously. And when you’re called, you look up at that bench and tell the judge the truth about what happened.”

“What if he doesn’t believe me?”

Catherine smiled. “Show him the arrest report.” She unfolded the photocopy, smoothing it flat on the table. She pointed to where the cop had written in the notes: “Female passenger insisting she was the driver. Male occupant, clearly intoxicated, had switched seats. Female passenger refusing to acknowledge. Fact.”


Santa Barbara, CA

Lyndy Life Observation: At one point in the eighties Mr. Potts, manager of The Vanishing Point instituted random drug screening. The first week we lost five longtime, valuable employees. The kitchen was closed for three days and the roadhouse had to shutter. After that, they still did drug testing, but the bank insisted all employees be given a 3 week notice prior to any tests. From then on, failures were almost unheard of.

Balancing on a cane for support, Gillian rose wobbily to her feet.

Sensing discomfort, Lyndy added. “I don’t mean to ruin any pristine image you have of your mother. She had many admirable traits. Vitality perhaps. She lived every day to the fullest. One of her nicknames, given by her dad was Rita-The-Rocket. When she had a goal, Rita attacked it relentlessly until she got what she wanted and no man, woman or what-have-you stood in the way.”

The young girl exhaled loudly, meeting eyes again with Fred Simmons. “Dad, it’s time to show her,” announced Gillian sternly. “She should know why we brought her here.”

“Oh?” Lyndy remarked. “Then, there is a hidden motive?”

Fred grinned sheepishly. “My daughter is correct. Why don’t you come into the kitchen. Have some wine,” he suggested. “I’ll boot up my laptop. We’ll talk.”

Lyndy nodded, taking a breath and rising. She stuffed her tissues in her purse, then ambled beside Gillian to the back door steps. She kept her arms ready in case Gillian suffered an unexpected tumble, but Gillian was more skillful at balancing than she appeared.

At the ground level kitchen, Mr. Simmons unfolded a newish Apple laptop. It was resting on a heavy marble island, where there was enough room for three stools, facing the stove and backsplash area. Lyndy waited with amusement, thumbing clean her glasses and wondering what these two were up to.

Once Fred was finished typing in a half-dozen passwords, he angled his screen so Lyndy could see better. He then circled to the back of the island, retrieving a wine bottle and cork remover.

The display was swirling with financial data, matrix-like, from a website with poor organization and tiny font. Lyndy shoved her trifocals in place, attempting to focus on the total line, where he’d placed his mouse pointer. She had to move the glasses out by an inch, to achieve optimal clarity.

Working to uncork a bottle of pinot, Fred had a foxlike grin, and when she glanced behind, Gillian seemed to have an eager smile also.

The mouse-print number started with a “9” followed by 8 more digits.

Pinching two fingers on the rim of her glasses she held them steady, while staring at the total again. Murmuring, Lyndy recounted the digits, sliding her left pinky more carefully along this time, but she arrived at the same value: a little over 900 million.

“Wait. Rita had nine-hundred million dollars in an investment account?”

“Technically this is spread over thirty-some-odd accounts, but yes,” Fred explained. He deposited wine in two glasses, in several big glugs from the bottle. “These accounts were set aside for Lovelace heirs, 25 years back. It started at roughly 100 million, which would’ve been a large chunk back in the year 1996. They’ve been multiplying steadily ever since.”

“What were they invested in?”

“Mostly silver and other precious metals.”

Lyndy looked to Fred’s face, then to Gillian, then back over to the screen. “Seriously?”

“Yes. It’s held in trust. However, the money is rightfully owed to Gillian, and you as well. For all your years of faithful service.” Fred tilted his head, sounding more sympathetic. “I understand she put you through a lot.”

“That’s an understatement,” agreed Lyndy.

“As I said, these accounts are in probate, bound in the Lovelace family trust,” he detailed with bitterness. “You see, together we were planning to amend the will. It was a priority on our to-do list. But we had a whole bunch of other priorities that first year of our marriage. It was such a whirlwind, what with her being pregnant. It got away from us.” He shut his eyes, as he uttered the last sentence. “And then more time passed, and … tragically my wife passed away before we could amend the will.”

Lyndy let that part breathe a moment. Fred shoved one of the wine glasses to Lyndy and she caught the base with three fingers. Lifting it by the stem, she took a sip as Fred did the same, standing across from her.

“Oh man, I know this is gonna come across sounding loco. But I wouldn’t want anything to do with that money.” Now it was making more sense, why Fred had been seeking her out. He’d come with a purpose. He wanted to get his paws on Rita’s fortune. “I’ll have to pass. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.”

Setting down his glass, Fred’s expression revealed he expected some reluctance. Coming around to meet her, Fred put his hand tenderly on Lyndy’s shoulder. “Think about what this money could do for you and your daughter. I’m sure it could change her life. Your daughter needs money right? She’s probably out there working the same crap jobs we all do when we’re twenty. If we don’t claim these accounts soon, it all goes to the state of Arizona.”

Lyndy stared at the screen. It had been hard. She thought about it every day, how she’d lived post Kyle split. “Umm. Money was Rita’s thing. Not mine. It makes me anxious thinking about it.”

She watched Gillian and Fred, a quizzical look forming on both their faces. Fred appeared pale, as if someone stating, “money isn’t their thing” was the same as saying “breathing air isn’t their thing.” Neither could conceive of such a declaration.

“Wait. Why is the money stuck in probate?” Lyndy eyed Gillian with scrutiny.

“They need proof,” answered Fred. “I don’t have access to Gillian’s birth certificate.”

“So, get a copy from the county. It’s easy.”

Fred tilted his head, acknowledging the logic. “Well, I would do that, if the hospital had any records. We don’t have those either. Maricopa County has no proof of her birth.”

“Alrighty,” said Lyndy, removing her glasses. Her radar was up.

“You know how Rita was. She wanted Gillian to be a secret.”

“You’re a lawyer. Why would you agree to that? That isn’t very smart.”

Fred shook his head. “I know.”

Lyndy shrugged. Placing hands on her knees, she rose from the chair and paced to the door. She felt the ocean breeze on her face. The slider faced the gardens. She gazed outside to the gardens, shaded in meticulously trimmed oaks. “It’s surprising to me Rita would’ve chosen this place to settle down.” She was thinking about the rental house Rita once loved.

“Why do you say that?” asked Gillian.

Lyndy turned back. “I don’t see a pool here. Rita’s favorite—and really only form of exercise was swimming. She loved to swim.” Lyndy paused, then added, “she also liked to show off her body. There was that.”

Gillian squinted at the yard, almost as though she was becoming skeptical too.

“I dunno. Aren’t there shadowy internet characters who forge documents? I’ve seen that in movies. Just hire one of those freaks and leave me out of your scheme.”

“I can’t do that,” stated Fred firmly.

There was an awkward exchange of glances between Fred and Gillian. “Yeah, we tried that idea,” said Gillian, with irritation. “It didn’t work.”

Lyndy held up her hands. “Not my problem.”

Fred Simmons exhaled. “Let’s take a moment to cool off here. I’m not asking you to keep money you don’t want. You don’t think I understand, but I do.”

“Then spit it out. What do you want me to do?”

Gillian inched forward while her green eyes betrayed something sinister. Through them one could see her real soul. “Had she been wrong about this girl?” Lyndy pondered. Because in all her years with Rita, Rita had never once given her a look like that. Rita’s eyes shone with determination, mischief on occasion, but never with pure evil.

“Miss Martinez, it’s simple,” Gillian argued. “We’re not asking you to mis-appropriate or steal anything. Nothing is wrong about it. All you have to do is sign an affidavit stating that I am the living heir of the Lovelace estate.”

Lyndy shook her head, shrugging on her cardigan and looping one of two buttons in the front. She tried to recall the last time she took her blood pressure pill. “Whelp, I’m not much for wine. Tequila is more my style. And I’m in a beach town. It’s been decades since I’ve visited Santa Barbara. I think I’ll make my way to a bar,” she announced. “Any good Tiki bars around?” Meantime she fisted a hexagonal pill and slipped it in her mouth, dry swallowing.

Valley Girl Part-10

Valley Girl: A Lyndy Martinez Story, Part-10

Yosemite Valley, CA 1990s

Lyndy Life Observation: You know how the great inventor Steve Jobs went through an “apple phase” whereby he only ate apples morning, noon and night? Allegedly this is how the name Apple Computer came to be. Well, me and Rita went through a “hot dog” phase, where we consumed grilled hot dogs every living day without fail. I don’t recommend this habit, due to the nitrates which we knew nothing about. Between us we went through gallons of mustard in a month, and I remember one time we drove to the grocery store and they were out of buns. Rita practically had a meltdown in the bread aisle.

A veil of smoke drifted in between the pines catching rays of light, ghostly but smelling of summer. The warm dry air was soothing to the skin, making one want to put on shorts or a dress—perfect for a cookout. Strolling from the bus stop, this was the Camp-4 scene: party R&B music on a boom box, charcoal grills sizzling, huddles of people laughing, talking.

Lyndy spotted Neil holding forth, recounting his “big wall” adventure stories to a circle of younger climbers. Picture a sensei surrounded by pupils. She could see how Erica might describe him as a celebrity. He paced confidently as he spoke, walking a figure-eight, delighting each admirer whenever he happened to meet their gaze.

Everyone had a cold drink in hand.

A few of the ladies present were college age, with hardly what could be considered a top—they were enthralled just as much. Spaghetti strap tanks were about as modest as it got for these campers. Lyndy felt out of place, as she and Neil were likely to be the two “elders” on site.

Lyndy rolled Mari’s stroller into a flat, out of the way spot, shielded by a tree stump. She then raised the retractable roof extension to block out some of the stimulation. There was no avoiding the thumping music though. Hopefully Mari would adapt. Nice to have something tickling the eardrums other than constant baby whimpering.

Next, she spotted Erica in the clearing, working a hula-hoop like an absolute boss, with those glowing plastic necklaces one gets at concerts.

Then she locked eyes with Neil. Neil stopped everything when he saw her, parting the crowd and marching up to Lyndy as his friends watched. He helped her place a towel over the opening on the stroller, for shade and to help Mari feel more comfortable.

“Glad you made it!” greeted Neil. “There’s a whole potluck table set up over there,” he explained. “Help yourself to anything you want to drink.”

Lyndy darted to the table, scanning for a stack of red solo cups. Searching in vain, she realized everyone else had brought those metal cups you get at camping stores. “Oh shoot. You’re supposed to bring your own tin cup?”

“You can have one of mine,” answered Neil. “Lemme just rinse out the gunk first.”

Lyndy examined the selection of red and white boxed wines, positioned on the ends of the table allowing one to hold a cup under the spigot. There were five boxes in total, enough for a small army.

Next to this were white igloo coolers, brimming with ice and import beer bottles denser than a fish market. The rest of the table was stacked with potato salad, chips, hummus dip and cantaloupe cubes.

“Yikes,” muttered Lyndy.

Someone had taken all her vices, her gluttonous desires, and packed them onto one epic picnic table. Inner demons were running wild. She reached for the white wine, dribbling it into her borrowed cup.

As she strolled to join the circle, Neil returned to finish a story. She sat down on the end of a bench, intending to rest and listen. Instead, one of the Neil’s pals whom she’d met at Degnan’s—fella with the shaggy hair—came stomping over to chat.  

The man sidled up, uncomfortably near, and spread one of his hairy arms behind her shoulders on the table. He leaned over, not so suavely and said: “I want to tell you a secret. I have a thing for new moms.”

Lyndy nodded, masking her cringe with a grimace. “Oh cool,” she replied, voice cracking, sipping her wine.

The dude seemed unsure where to go from there. He fidgeted with his beer, before taking another breath and spewing forth the words: “So do you like Porsche’s?”

Lyndy shrugged. “I dunno, maybe I do.” Though she actually preferred macho muscle cars to fancy German coupes.

“Cause there’s a sleek black Porsche hidden in the woods. Like a quarter mile from camp.” He looked over his shoulder, making sure no one was listening. “They put a bunch of tree bark and branches over it, making it look like a pile of yard clippings. But I could tell there was something underneath there so I dug it out.” The man shifted, squeezing his nose and exhaling. “Sorry, I gotta be honest. I’m outta practice talking to women.”

Lyndy’s ears perked up. “It’s okay.” She was about to ask a follow-up question. But the party got hushed. Somebody turned down the music which was most noticeable by the lack of bass. Two tall climbers, whose dress and appearance revealed their Europeanness before they uttered a word in French, had entered the clearing.

The mood shifted. One of them helped himself to a craft beer, popping the cap by whacking it on the edge of the table. The other was pointing to an imposing granite boulder which looked utterly unclimbable. This thing was as big as a house, and so heavy they’d not bothered to clear it when they built the camp. With a raised hand he was charting out several spots where there were chalk lines. Which meant, despite its polished smoothness, climbers did occasionally perform their training exercises upon it. The route was 20 feet in length, and a fall from the top end meant landing in packed dirt and a broken leg or worse.

The blonde men began speaking to Neil in aggressive tones. Neil was in a crouch, his trademark “aww shucks” modest expression on this face.

Erica moved right beside him. She grabbed onto Neil’s shoulders, ready to defend him.

Lyndy could only hear bits of the conversation, but it was obvious the foreigners were goading him, accusing Neil of being over the hill. With his hands and body language, Neil was waving them off. He wanted them to get lost and leave the party.

Out of nowhere, it escalated. The dude who’d been chugging the beer took his bottle and slammed it against the rock, causing it to shatter. The crowd got even more hushed. Neil and everyone else at the table instinctively put-up hands to shield their eyes from an explosion of glass shards. But now Neil seemed upset. A line had been crossed. Neil spoke something firm like: “I hope you’re planning to clean that up.”

The drama was making Lyndy uneasy and she glanced to Mari’s nearby buggy.

It was clear the gauntlet had been thrown. Neil arose with folded arms and the taller challenger began dipping his fingers into a chalk bag. Slapping his hands together, he created a puff of white, then rolled his shoulders and bounced in place.

Neil walked a semi-circle, facing the rock, hardly ruffled but now with more intensity in his eyes. He reached for his climbing shoes, which were upside down on a tarp next to his other equipment. He started to dust them off. Meantime the cocky fellow approached the smooth rock face, and it must’ve been agreed he would go first.

Jaunting the few yards to Lyndy’s seat, Neil whispered in her ear. “Watch this,” he spoke confidently with a wink, and began lacing up his shoes one at a time.

The blonde man started his ascent with his partner spotting. He moved upward with gecko-like abilities, requiring only the tiniest flakes to make progress. These holds were so small they were invisible from afar. His arm muscles tensed and flared, and sweat beaded on his back, which was mostly visible through a ventilated beach shirt.

Neil studied him, while tightening his laces. The specimen of a man was grunting and breathing heavily, but continued to make progress inching up the wall. His feet were splayed in different directions like a tree frog. Soon his forearms were shaking, fingers pinching onto sandpaper-like grips. On the ground his partner had hands ready to soften his pal’s landing. He’d even put down his beer, thus indicating he was serious.

Neil leaned over, cupping his hand around his lips. “That’s like a grade 8 route.”

Lyndy, knowing nothing about the sport of bouldering, was ready to believe anything Neil said. It sounded intimidating—even life threatening—from where she was sitting. Neil again whispered in her ear: “Forgot to mention you look smoking hot right now in that outfit. I can’t take my eyes off you. You’re the best-looking woman I’ve ever seen.”

Lyndy blushed. Perhaps a desperate man had uttered those same words to her, in her prime, but she couldn’t recall the last time. It felt delightful and warm inside all the same. She pointed discretely to the route. “But you’ve climbed it before, right?”

Neil bobbed his head side to side, then lifted up one leg touching his heel to his butt, stretching the hams. “I’ve climbed it once. Except I was 28 years old at the time.”

All eyes from camp-4 were on the French climber, when suddenly he made a noise and gravity brought him back. He slammed into his partner with a FWOOSH, both men landing in a heap on a crash pad. The blonde challenger jumped up immediately with a smug grin, self-assured in his performance. Having been roughly two arm lengths from the summit when he slipped, he seemed to believe this was unbeatable. Meantime his partner clutched his head and frowned, having had his bell rung.

Now it was Neil’s turn, as the other two were licking their wounds.

“You gonna be okay?” asked Lyndy.

“You worry too much,” said Neil, unbuttoning his shirt. For a man nearing forty, he had no sign of a beer belly. Every inch of him was lean. He tossed his dusty shirt to Erica.

Neil strode forward to place both hands on the rock, steadying himself at the base. The guy with the curly hair jumped up, ready to provide the spotting.

Neil studied the rock for half a minute, gazing vertically and taking in the details; in his mind working out the moves like a chess master. Lyndy couldn’t eat or drink she was so nervous for Neil. She pushed her cup and a paper plate away, then gripped the edge of her seat with both hands.

With one deep inhalation Neil started up the granite face. The moment both hands and feet were off the dirt, his mission had begun. Stretching with his long arms, fingers clawing for a grip, he snagged a hold. Then with his bicep power pulled himself two feet higher, re-positioning his shoes. He couldn’t turn back now.

All attention shifted to Neil, including those of his two rivals.

Lyndy could see the muscles in Neil’s back were tense, as his spine curved so he could twist a foot onto a higher grip. Her own heart began to pound, and her fingers began to curl. She could feel the grittiness of the rock on her fingers. His breathing got heavier and when the moves were tough, he exhaled a sudden rush of air. She breathed just as hard.

At the apex, where the climb tilted to a negative slope, he cupped both hands over a knob extrusion on the rock, launching himself with the power of his forearms and shoulders.

Lyndy glanced to Erica who had knotted up Neil’s shirt and was biting it.

She smiled. It occurred to Lyndy that although Erica had said she had a boyfriend, that she was actually hopelessly in love with Neil. If one counted her own crush, well that made two of them.

As Neil kicked up his left shoe, one of the French climbers scoffed. He was approaching the crux move, now twelve feet over the soil. A fall from this height would be hard to soften, and his buddy Rick with the shaggy hair, had both arms raised and eyes fixated. He was nervous. Neil was battling gravity with his muscles and his brain, but all his buddy could do was dance a small circle with his hands up.

Neil’s back like iron, began to glisten with sweat. Yet this and his heavy breathing was the only evidence of exertion. The rest of him was deep in concentration. In a tense moment, Neil managed to heave his core above the negative section onto a polished, but positive sloped pitch. From there, it was the friction in his shoes and the chalk on his hands that kept him glued to the rock. An impact from the full height couldn’t be softened now. His spotter backed away. Probably he would be hospitalized if not dead.

Lyndy couldn’t watch so she covered her eyes, but continued to peek through the cracks in her fingers.

The Frenchmen scoffed again. One of them said in a thick accent: “I knew he could do it. I wanted to see the way it should be climbed.” But everyone knew that was bull.

Neil topped out onto a flat summit, peering down at the party like a perched gargoyle, with a very broad grin.

“Hey Lyndy! See, I made it,” boasted Neil, like a proud little kid.

Lyndy stood up and clapped. So did Erica. It took a few seconds for Neil to skid down the back, where he used a pine tree to gracefully descend and lower himself to the ground. He marched across the circle to the tables and Erica gave him a hug.

The celebration didn’t last. In the corner of her eye, Lyndy spotted a fish out of water man, wearing khaki pants, a loosened tie and plaid business shirt. He was poking around near where Maribel’s buggy had been stowed.

“Ohhhhhh shit,” Lyndy mouthed in slow motion. Kyle caught sight of her at the same moment, and the anger was plain to see. He stormed across the circle of tables, disrupting even the French climber dudes.

He grabbed hard onto Lyndy’s wrist, with a cold rage.

“Hey man, what’s yer problem?” argued someone.

Kyle dragged Lyndy across the camp; she followed out of sheer embarrassment. As he brushed past Neil—who’d been in shock—he said words which were etched in her mind for years to come: “Lyndy Martinez is a lot of fun isn’t she? Well, she can’t come out and play anymore.” He swiveled his head, making sure everyone was watching. “Lyndy can’t come out and play cause she’s a mom now! For Christ sake.”

Kyle kicked the buggy until the brakes let go, then he pushed it with one arm while not letting go of Lyndy’s wrist. Maribel was crying. Hard to tell if it just started, or she’d been wailing for an extended time as so much excitement had gone on.

“Dude, wait up,” said Neil, attempting to follow.

Kyle stamped the ground in a threatening manner.

“Now are you her boyfriend or are you Lyndy’s dad …

Kyle glared back at Neil, daring him to finish the sentence.

“… cause right now it’s hard for me to tell,” said Neil.

Kyle pointed to the east end of the valley, the direction of the hotel. “Your boss will be hearing from me. This is unacceptable.” Kyle looked at the crowd with disdain. In his eyes they were losers.


Santa Barbara, CA 2010s

Lyndy Life observation: As a new mom I often wondered how many of my personality traits Maribel would inherit versus Kyle’s. I remember one early warning sign came from a teacher’s report the first day of Mari’s kindergarten. They had nap time of course and apparently there was another little girl who was sniffling and complaining about missing her mother. After ten minutes of this, Maribel rolled over and scolded: “Oh be quiet, people are trying to sleep!”

They waited a long time before coming to get her. Lyndy spent the alone time seated in the yard, listening to the rustling of leaves and chirping birds. But then she heard a door unlatch and creak.

“I know it’s a lot,” remarked Fred, stepping from a side entrance off the patio. He had both hands in his pockets as he sauntered to her. Behind him, his daughter emerged, using a cane for support but moving more easily than expected.

Gillian hobbled across the lawn to her stone bench, resting beside The Spitfire. Then she placed a hand atop Lyndy’s. Her green eyes were inquisitive and wistful.

“Miss Martinez, could you please tell me something about my mom?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything. I was so young, I only have a few precious memories, like still frames of her with nothing substantive.”

Lyndy cupped a fist under her chin, while flashes of her youth played on a projector in her mind. The reason some of these were hard to access was obvious. She didn’t like to think about those days.

At last Lyndy answered: “Your mother enjoyed Mexican food. A LOT. Homemade tamales especially—the more authentic and lower budget the better. With red and green sauce. But obviously not from chain fast food joints.”

She could hear Fred exhaling a laugh. But when Lyndy glanced to the curious eyes of Gillian, she could tell the girl felt unsatisfied.

“No. Like what I mean is, tell me something good about my mom. Something positive she did for others or yourself.”

“Uh. Geez. Lemme think,” said Lyndy running her hand over head. She accidentally dislodged her glasses, catching them in her lap and preventing the pair from falling to the stone path. Lyndy smirked, as an old memory floated itself from the murky depths. “This one time we were flying to Denver and Rita was in first class. I was stuck in coach, of course.” Lyndy turned to squeeze Gillian’s shoulder. “This was back when flying was still hip, and first class was worthy of the name. As she was boarding, a stewardess presented Rita with this zippered goody bag. It was scarlet red, with the logo of the airline and inside were all sorts of girly items. There was a hairbrush, some pink sunglasses and an eye mask. And like little candies and stuff. But Rita didn’t want it. After we took off, she wandered back to coach where I was sitting—probably in a middle seat—and she handed me the bag, saying something like: “Here. I don’t’ want this.” She glanced to Fred and then back to Gillian. “That’s something nice right? Proves Rita was thinking of me.”

“That’s all you can think of,” sighed Gillian. “What about her philanthropic work?”

Lyndy shrugged. “Philanthropy? Rita had her moments. She often donated to charity. But your mom wasn’t known for being what others consider quote-unquote nice.” Gillian glared at Fred. There was an unspoken grievance, possibly with the truth about her mother being revealed at last.

Valley Girl Part-9

Valley Girl: A Lyndy Martinez Story, Part-9

Coconino County AZ, 2010s

Lyndy Life Observation: Before America became overly litigious like now, there used to be a family-owned waterpark roughly ten clicks from the V-P. On a July weekend in Barstow, trust me, the place was a godsend and also a prime spot to mingle. They had one particular waterslide—kind of a toboggan run—which launched you at high-speed toward these two enormous humps at the end. The flawed design essentially guaranteed you landed backward and upside down when entering the pond, almost always on your head. Sometimes I wonder how nobody died.

She watched an Anna’s hummingbird zipping through the hollyhocks until it set upon a yellow monkeyflower bush, hovering mid-air to sip nectar.

With a tilt of the wrist, Catherine deposited a pint or two of artificial rain from her watering can to nourish the drooping blooms. Nearby, bumble bees were buzzing all around her sunflowers, legs heavy with pollen. A gentle breeze blew, transporting scents of the high desert, nature’s AC in the heat of the afternoon. In the distance, a neighbor’s windmill twirled and creaked.

She loved her new country home. However diminutive it was, it made up in the soothing charms of Arizona highlands and the newness of the twenty-first century appliances.

Setting down her can and taking a breather in the shade of the back porch, she gazed at the dazzling screen of her smart phone. She remembered a time when every phone had the exact same total of 12 buttons and no screen whatsoever. Clicking on “favorites”, she resolved to try her best friend, Lyndy. It’d taken Catherine several hours to gather her thoughts, and frankly, make peace with the verbal lashing she’d received from Maribel.

Catherine cupped the phone in both hands, as she only planned to leave it on speaker. Lyndy was impossible to converse with using any type of video technology.

The phone rang five solid times, and Cathy had nearly given up, deciding to go back to watering when she heard an answer. There were sounds in the background, noisy children, thumping of people cramming suitcases in bins and random announcements.

“Hello?” answered Lyndy, in a breathless tone. She always sounded as if figuring out how to answer her Apple phone was a fatiguing task.

“Hey, it’s Cath. Where are you at?” Cathy leaned back, kicking one knee over the other and resting against one of the timbers supporting her porch.

“Oh. I’m boarding a plane now,” Lyndy’s voice seemed immediately less tense, and she sounded as though she was settling into a seat.

“Oh, I won’t bother you then. It’s not important.”

“No, I can talk for a sec—they haven’t barred the doors or anything. Plus, this is a luxury flight. It’s all first class. What’s on your mind?”

Cathy frowned. “Really? Where the heck are you going?”

“Santa Barabara,” answered Lyndy.

“Why? Are you with someone?”

“Uh… actually yes. A guy.”

“A guy? You met a dude and you’re flying to California? That’s major.”

“It would seem so yes.”

“Is he cute? Wait, how long have you known him?”

Cathy could hear a nervous laugh coming from Lyndy, and could picture her blushing at the man sitting beside her. “Ummm, like twenty-four hours,” whispered Lyndy.

“24 HOURS!” exclaimed Cathy. “Be honest with me. Are you being kidnapped?”

Lyndy chuckled.

“Click your tongue and say buttercup if you’re in danger.”

Lyndy chuckled again.

“Are you going senile on me? You’re too young for this. Do I need to take your credit cards away.”

“Stop it, Cath,” Lyndy cajoled, through a series of nervous chuckles.

“This is just weird. You’re gonna have to fill me in when you’re not in take-off mode. Call me tonight.”

“I might do that,” answered Lyndy. “But wait, what were you calling about?”

“Oh, almost forgot. I wanted to know Maribel’s date of birth and her middle name.”

“Sure. What for?”

“I want to request the arrest report for her supposed DUI.”

There was a pause, and Cathy wasn’t certain how Lyndy would react. Perhaps to tell her to mind her own business. “Right. That’s smart,” agreed Lyndy soberly. “Yeah. Something isn’t adding up. You’re right to be suspicious.”

“I am,” Cathy confirmed.

“Alrighty. It’s February 5th and her middle name happens to be Whitney.”

“I wasn’t anticipating that.”

“Kyle picked the name,” explained Lyndy. “He was a big Whitney Houston fan.” Lyndy paused for a beat, then asked: “Did you talk to her?”

“I did. And you were right, she’s a real delight. I’m licking my wounds.”

“What did she say?”

“Well, nothing about the arrest. But she did get in several home run zingers. Including, to my face that together you and I were the biggest floozies this side of the Rocky Mountains.” Cathy could hear Lyndy making a snort and then a belly laugh. “Thought you’d appreciate that. I didn’t know the term floozies was still a thing.”

“You have my anointed permission to slap my adult daughter.”

“Thank you. I’ve cooled down. Santa Barbara, eh? Maybe he’s a surfer.”

“Yes. That’s where he lives.”

“Okay, better call me later!”

Then Cathy heard a ding, and series of garbled announcements by a flight attendant. Soon after the call ended.


Several hours later …

Lyndy forgot what it was like, driving in Santa Barbara. The one lane, tree lined streets snaking through the hills like backroads of the Alps were better suited to mule travel than modern sports sedans. Seemed the whole town drove like speed demons, disregarding stop signs as mere suggestions. With all the blind curves, it was a miracle there weren’t constant wrecks.

But they made it back from the airport in one piece.

Fred nosed his car into an elevated gravel drive near the crest of a coastal ridge on a 90-degree bend, in the shade of twin Monterrey Pines. Evidently, he’d been renting one of those Spanish style manors—you know the trendy ones with names like “Villa Lagos” emblazoned in iron gates. He didn’t enter the garage, instead putting on the brakes out front.

Lyndy stepped out, lifting her shades to admire the scenic view. To the west, through gaps in the foliage one could spot turquoise waters of the channel. She paced away, recalling Rita once owned a summer home in Santa Barabara. They both adored it, as it was basically a party house for her and her entourage. Which meant Lyndy got to live rent free, performing her security duties. That home, if it still existed, should be in the same neighborhood. Yet things had changed dramatically in 30 years and her memory of Santa Barbara was so grainy, she’d never find it.

“Whaddaya think?” asked Fred, eagerly gathering up his things from the rental.

Lyndy only had one bag to collect, and though Fred offered to carry it, she refused. She nestled her sunglasses atop her pixie cut hair. The air was much cooler here, smelling salty and moist like the Pacific. Sometimes California wasn’t half bad.

“Amazing house!” she answered. “I mean wow.”

“My daughter wanted this one cause the main bedroom has the best ocean view.”

Lyndy observed Fred’s body language. The man appeared solemn, bracing himself on the handrail for the front steps. He paused, gazing down at his white loafers. “She suffers from a series of health challenges ever since that day. These will become apparent when you meet her. But trust me, she’s a fighter. You’ll see.” His voice choked up. “She’s gonna be thrilled to meet you. Cause, she has trouble remembering any details of her mom.”

Coming up the stairs, one had to do a one-eighty to enter the home’s main floor. Beside the staircase, an elaborate mechanical lift mechanism was a clue that someone in the home had mobility issues. The mystery was deepening. There was little time to appreciate the living room with its coffered ceilings and a boho chic décor.

Fred led the charge, beckoning her up another curved flight of stairs to the third-floor bedroom. It was the primary. Lyndy marveled at items she saw along the way, classic western memorabilia and framed movie posters—the image of John Wayne with an eye patch holding a pistol. She’d never imagined meeting a youngster more into western movies and culture. Maybe she’d met her match. They had original posters for everything from The Lone Ranger and High Noon, to Once Upon a Time in the West, Outlaw Josie Wales, No country for Old Men and even True Grit – John Wayne OG version of course.

Fred smiled coyly and with such confidence, like he couldn’t wait to reveal the surprise. The Spitfire was starting to wonder if she had a long-lost child somehow, though she scanned her memory banks and was certain she’d only been pregnant once, with one baby.

By tugging on Lyndy’s arm, he brought her to a set of double doors. He tapped lightly on the door and youngish female voice said: “Enter.” Next, he thrust both doors apart in a dramatic gesture.

The view out the bedroom windows was magnificent. But this paled in comparison to the person standing beside the bed.

Gasping, Lyndy fell against the framed entry. If a spindled railing hadn’t been behind, she might’ve risked a tumble back down the stairs. She almost blurted “Rita!”, yet the young woman couldn’t possibly be older than 20 years. And though her old friend possessed vast wealth and ambitions, she obviously could not bring herself back from the grave nor reverse the aging process. Despite having the lovely triangular face of Rita, right down to the green eyes and auburn hair, the smiling young woman appeared extremely frail.

Fred seemed smug. “Lyndy Martinez, I’m happy to introduce you to the last living heir of the Lovelace estate, my daughter, Gillian Bonnie Lovelace.”

“Holy cow,” Lyndy mouthed. “You …. you …,” she stammered, “look like your mother.”

Indeed, Gillian was among the strangest humans Lyndy ever laid eyes upon, which was saying something. Trust me, she’d met some doozeys. The most noticeable feature, after her striking face, was the way her torso had been encased in an exoskeleton, formed of metal rivets and stiff black plastic. The closest she could compare to was old Roman body armor. It was attached to cover her entire abdomen, encasing her neck and completely surrounding her back. The contraption was secured by black parachute cord which looped back and forth on the sides like a corset. In this form, the girl was alien like.

Could it be? Rita’s own child by natural birth, or a surrogate?

The parts of Gillian’s body still exposed, were noticeably delicate and burn scarred. Even for a skinny 20-year-old. She was alarmingly thin, like somebody with a liver condition. Made her think Rita’s fire curse had come full circle, manifesting in her child.

With her constricting brace Gillian moved in a mechanical way, striding forward and using the corners of a four-poster bed for extra support.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you at last!” Gillian exclaimed. She paused, sensing Lyndy’s discomfort. “Excuse me, I know how I look. Some people need a minute to process. What happened is I survived a plane crash—basically got shoved out a moving aircraft without a parachute and somehow landed in very dense brush. Then came a fireball. To say I was pretty banged up is well …. the doctors didn’t believe I could survive a month, let alone walk. Most of them claimed I would be bedridden.” She glanced at her bed, which obviously was where she spent a majority of her time. “They were almost right.”

Gillian inched forward nervously to approach Lyndy. Lyndy moved closer too, unsure where it was safe to touch this fragile being, afraid of simply crushing her. But they embraced. And the feeling of putting her arms around Gillian, however awkward, brought with it sweet relief.

“Don’t worry too much Lyndy, I’m not made of glass,” coaxed Gillian. “I’ve got bones you know!” And Lyndy squeezed her tighter. “I’m so glad you agreed to come.”

Lyndy was picturing Rita hurling her daughter out an aircraft door to save her, while in the process of crashing. Somehow it did fit within the context of a Rita escapade. Whether it was physically possible to do, she couldn’t say. Seemed farfetched.

“You have a daughter, correct?” questioned Gillian. Her hair was in a bob, the good kind and Gillian pushed the ends behind both ears like any other young lady.

“Oh yes,” answered Lyndy, grinning. “Yep. Maribel. She’s … well …” She couldn’t find the words to describe her child now, let alone her emotional state. Lyndy’s eyes were tearing up. It was a peculiar reaction. She dabbed at them with her blouse.

She felt a need to caress Gillian’s skin again, perhaps confirming the girl was not some elaborate simulation. Lyndy beat her chest with her fist, coughing a bit. Then she moved to the girl’s side, reaching out to squeeze her fingers.

“There’s so many things I want to ask,” said Gillian.

“Likewise,” replied Lyndy, shifting her weight onto her leading foot. When she touched the skin atop Gillian’s hand, it was warm and soft. Human obviously. And Gillian smiled. Lyndy nodded with eyes wide in wonderment.

Then without warning, Lyndy felt an old-fashioned grade-A panic attack closing in. She had to get out of this room. She fanned her face with both hands, then wordlessly darted for the stairs, taking them two at a time knowing Fred would try and follow. She rushed out the open front door, into the side yard where a bird bath stood, encompassed by rose bushes. Lyndy bent over, hands on her knees, panting for oxygen.

Lyndy felt a tenderness for this girl in a way she’d not expected. She hated the idea of it. This was madness! Had she slipped into a time warp sucking her back to her youth? Despite her sentiments, she had zero desire to return to that earlier age. Why should she open her heart? Miss Lovelace, who respected her autonomy so poorly had managed to continue with unfair demands. What a load of nerve!

But she liked the girl. A lot. She felt as if she’d known her already. Why hadn’t Rita said anything? Why not make her a god parent? If she’d run into unforeseen circumstances like the crash, precluding her from raising Gillian, she could’ve easily let Lyndy take over. She was already raising Maribel. How much harder would it have been to raise two girls versus one?

She turned around to see if anyone was there, but they’d let her alone. Mercifully. Lyndy snatched a wad of tissue from her purse and held it against her nose. She longed for a Newport.


Yosemite Valley, CA 1990s

Lyndy Life Observation: All due respect to the late artist Prince, who was a talented musician, the hit song Delirium is super annoying and contains the most pedantic 80s beat ever. Driving with Mr. Chan this song would often play on the radio, and whenever it did I remember twisting up his stereo knob to full blast. He’d be trying to steer down the road and at the same time wrestling with me for control of the volume. I had ninja-like speed too. Good times!

Ranger Brandt was eager to listen to Lyndy’s retelling of the final call and one-sided conversation with the unknown female. The mention of a specific date, Sunday, indicated an unfolding plot. She thoughtfully observed Brand’s body language for any signs of a hidden understanding. But he revealed nothing further. Either Brandt was equally puzzled with the substance of the conversation, or he’d gotten good at faking his reactions. He said he would relay it to whomever would be put in charge next.

As for Lyndy, leaving town seemed more and more the wisest option.

All afternoon she contemplated how to soften the blow while still convincing Kyle she needed to duck out early. The field trip meant something to him, as he’d asked her to promise she’d go. That was one bind. Another, she wanted to tie up loose ends with Neil, regarding his connection to Sierra Spring. Something which would never happen if she disappeared.

Lyndy was agonizing over this decision, when a letter came sliding under the door. The envelope was embossed with the hotel logo. The person must not have lingered and no knock sounded. She eyed it a moment. Though no one besides Maribel was present in the room—Kyle stuck in meetings—Lyndy snuck guiltily to it. She saw it was another note from Neil, this time inviting her to a party in Camp-4. His message said there would be a summer-style cookout with brats, potato salad, desserts and music. And beer. Lots of beer.

Why not? Why shouldn’t she have a little fun on vacation? She gazed at Maribel, splayed out in her crib, exercising her fingers to grasp for the mobile and sucking on a binky. One problem remained. A certain social skill Lyndy had become unacquainted with, the twinge of anxiety when stepping into an avid party scene.

Well two problems. She had one outfit left, which she’d brought only in the event of a special occasion. She pulled on the short jean shorts and cloud white top that tied in the center, similar to the outfit in Dirty Dancing. It exposed a risky amount of hip action, and didn’t look right without shoes and big hair. Lyndy put a finger in her lips, gazing into the mirror and twisting at the hips to check how her butt looked. She held up the top over her body. Using her free hand, she fluffed her perm while locking eyes with Mari. “Well, you’re awful quiet now. What do you think? Cowgirl hat? Headband? Or curls?”

Valley Girl Part-7

[Author’s Note: I’m planning to swap out the title of this book to “Stonewater: A Lyndy Martinez Story”. I kept trying to conjure up a more fitting title and finally it struck me in the middle of the night. This is usually how it goes with titles, as they don’t hit until 2/3 way through.]

Valley Girl: A Lyndy Martinez Story, Part-7

Yosemite Valley, CA 1990s

Lyndy Life Observation: Here’s a good example of why I often compare the 1980s to the old, old west. Your children could literally do a beer run for you. Most places in the USA, parents could handwrite a note—like a permission slip—on a piece of paper, sign your name and authorize your grade school kids to purchase beer or cigarettes from a convenience store. And the clerk would look at this note, I suppose judging the validity of the signature, and then sell your child whatever you were asking for.

After her second feeding, a thorough butt cleansing and a fresh diaper change, Maribel was in a less agitated mood. She gazed squarely into Lyndy’s face with alert, watery baby eyes. Seemed as though her little eyes were pleading: “mama, don’t you even want me?” Reaching out with her index and middle fingers squeezed together, Lyndy caressed her daughter’s forehead and wispy strands of hair. It was filling in slowly, same pretty shade of brown as her mother.

Inches away, Kyle was snoring.

Lyndy felt a familiar, suffocating tightness in her chest. In frustration, she pulled back her hand, wrapping her palms to cover her scalp. Her nerves were raw, twisting like barbed wire. Lyndy settled into a chair, letting her legs muscles go limp. After a few moments, she released her grip as her arms fell at her sides. She shut her eyes, gathering willpower and thinking.

By the way, at least someone was getting rest!

She resented Kyle for being able to ignore the baby whenever, however he pleased. She resented Maribel for not allowing her the freedom to do the things she loved. For tying her down. And she felt jealous of her, ever the center of attention, which she knew was completely insane. But she felt it, a sorrow. Maribel wasn’t fun or entertaining like a movie. She hardly laughed, or smiled, or giggled. Seeing another baby—the daughter of Erica—proved it. Her baby was serious by nature. Would she always be this dour?

The TV was on mute, tuned to some flickering home shopping network selling bad exercise equipment.

Lyndy knew she needed to experiment. Sadly, this wasn’t an ideal arrangement. The one piece of furniture in the hotel suite for sitting was a humble shaker style chair, with a spindly back and solid wooden seat. A rocking chair would’ve been comfier. Hell, even a bean bag might suffice. Falling asleep in the chair was a no-go.

Arising, she shuffled to the bed, stacking all the remaining pillows. She wedged the crummiest throw pillow at the bottom of a pile, saving the softest for her head. Next, with both arms outstretched, Lyndy reached for the baby. Cradling her baby, she eased into the bed, her back at a 45-degree angle to the mattress. She wore a real silk nightgown this time, but she’d not done up the front buttons on purpose.  Lyndy wanted her abdomen totally bare. Maribel only had a diaper on.

Exhaling, Lyndy lowered Mari’s squishy body until their chests were pressed firmly against one-another, skin to skin. She could feel the warmth of the baby, like a hot bread loaf, the moistness of her breath, a drop or two of spittle and the plasticky texture of a diaper. Naturally, Maribel’s head turned to one side, so her ear was touching closest to Lyndy’s heart.

Quietly, Lyndy hummed a slower tempo rendition of the tune Just One Look. Back in her cocktail waitress days, that one was a banger.

The baby coughed lightly and Lyndy curved her fingers over Mari’s supple back. Lyndy felt her daughter’s heartbeat and breathing pace slowing. And she continued to hum. Lastly, she cradled her other hand over Mari’s tiny bum.

The vortex of anxiety in her mind began settling. It started with a warm sensation in her chest, like swallowing a shot of the finest reposado. The warmth began to radiate, from its orb-like origin to areas not touching the baby at all. Her extremities began feeling it, and her brain began to focus. Her hands stopped twitching, as she kicked out her heals. She could see things more clearly. It wasn’t the baby she was angry with. Of course not. It wasn’t lazy Kyle either. It was her mom, who obviously experienced this same problem and was too weak to fight it. How could she?


Lyndy Life Observations: On oven-like Tucson afternoons, me and Rita would walk across the boulevard to a dime store and buy mint chip ice creams and car magazines. I remember us licking our double-cones, watching a painting crew on 20-foot ladders painting a commercial building. They’re too lazy to come down off the ladder and move it each time they finish a section. So instead, they literally hop the ladder by jumping and jerking their weight up and down, standing on the top rungs. Basically, they dance the ladder along the wall into the new position. Nobody fell.

The phone started ringing at 6:30, when they were both in deep sleep. Even the baby was. It rang four times before her brain waves even registered what it was. Lyndy felt for it, with squinty eyes, her left hand steered by the source of the sound. She put the old school receiver to her ear, while her head was still against the pillows. Suddenly a realization hit: “Oh, Jesus, she’d slept four hours at a 45-degree tilt!” She knew she’d pay for it later.

Even Maribel looked up at her, and her facial expression communicated: “Oh mama, we really slept like this?”

“Ooof. Hello?” Lyndy groaned, her voice weak and raspy. It was Neil Conner, sounding chipper, asking if she wanted to go for a life-changing hike. Lyndy’s right hand was still cupped around Mari’s bottom.

Covering up the receiver on her shoulder, Lyndy turned to Kyle. “Hey, you wanna go hiking?” asked Lyndy.

“Not right now,” muttered Kyle, who’d been facing the other wall.

“So that’s a no?”

Kyle simply yawned.

She uncovered the mouthpiece. “Uh sure,” Lyndy answered. “Give me like … 30 minutes to get ready.” She set the phone back down.

“Who was that?” questioned Kyle, pulling a pillow over his head. “Wait, did you spend all night sitting up? Are you sick?”

“The friends I made, you know.” Lyndy shifted, transporting Mari over to her actual cradle. “I’m good.”

“So, is it a guy?” Kyle scoffed.

“Yes,” she admitted. Maribel started moaning. It was time for a feeding anyway.

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Dammit. Tell him never to call here at 6:30 or me and him will have a problem.”

“Oh, okay tough guy, I’ll let him know,” agreed Lyndy with giggle. She poked Kyle in the ribs making him turn away.


45 minutes later …

Frost nipped her fingertips, in the early morning shadows of the cavernous gorge. She had no gloves. In her hurry she was lucky enough she remembered to put on underwear. Her cheeks were red, but Maribel Ellis was snug in a baby Bjorn. High above, beyond the canopy of pines, the south flank of Half Dome towered.

The roar of the Merced filled her ears. The river, enlarged by melting snow, spread into three channels and rushed cold over the stones at Happy Isles. Her heart was pumping and her lungs expanded with the sweetness of pure, fresh air. Her entire body felt energized by the wonder of nature and simplicity of motion. Though there were other hikers, it hardly mattered. She felt as blissful as though the mountains were hers.

Her thoughts drifted to memories of her youth, lost in the rugged continental divide with the Warner’s, or tent camping with Dale. Those places hardly had foot paths, let alone a road. The reminisces were bittersweet, but they used to visit lakes in the wilderness and would be on their own for hours, sometimes days, immersed in the wonder of nature. She felt a sting of loss when she remembered Nash.

Her old boyfriend would’ve loved this place.

When next her gaze shifted upward, sunlight glinted at the cusp of the cliffs. Lupine, buttercup and snow plants dotted trailside, poking up through pine needles. She knew she wouldn’t be chilly for long. In a few minutes, exercise would cure that.

The scents in the air were a combination of woods and an earthy smell of dirt. Maribel was calm. She usually was once being hand carried.

Nearby, the river grew louder, angrier as they climbed higher on the mist trail. The stone steps became steeper, harder to negotiate with a single stride. One didn’t want bad knees here. Though Neil Conner led the way a dozen paces ahead, he stopped often to wait for her. He even offered to take Maribel off Lyndy, making it easier. But she kept turning him down. He continued looking back to check on her every chance he got.

At the first bridge, she opened her Nalgene for a cold drink of water.

As she caught her breath, Lyndy remarked: “I noticed Maribel loves nature. It seems to be the one thing which soothes her colic.” She breathed in a few more times, folding her arms over the side of the bridge and watching the rushing whitewater.

“It’s good for Lyndy too,” Neil added.

Lyndy nodded, with her gaze on the churning river. “Yeah. You’re right.”

A golden light began to bathe the walls of the canyon. They hiked onward, past the intersection with the John Muir Trail, continuing up the stairs of the Mist Trail.

At Emerald Pool the sun was still shining. They paused for brunch next to the Silver Apron, locating a smooth spot to sit—void of pebbles—in the shade of pine boughs. From there they could watch daredevils swim in the frigid water.

Maribel was in a strikingly positive mood. Lyndy giggled as she spooned applesauce into Maribel’s mouth, and Maribel attempted to swallow it. No matter how carefully she tried, most of it ended up running down Mari’s chin onto a bib. “I want my money back,” mused Lyndy. “Two thirds of the applesauce jar is being wiped away,” Her and Neil’s eyes met, as she crossed one ankle over the other.

Without words, Neil asked Lyndy to hold out her palm and he shook some trail mix in for her to eat. Neil watched Maribel. He folded his legs and hugged them. “I don’t know why you think this baby isn’t a sweet kid.”

“You’ve seen nothing. She’s never this good,” Lyndy asserted. “It’s as if we don’t even like each other. Some days we’re just roommates. I know that’s weird.” She glanced up. “I do want to know more about you,” Lyndy said, placing a hand atop Neil’s.

He seemed startled, and she pulled her hand back.

“What do you wanna know?”

“Lots of things. Why you’re wasting time with me. But we can get to that later.”

His expression became serious, and it was easy to tell scenes from a previous life were playing out in his head. “I’m a licensed CPA. I used to have a corporate gig in Oakland. In finance.” A tone of mourning came across as he related his history. “I lived in a house worth two million dollars. Drove a car worth about 50k.” He clenched his hands, as though his heart was pounding and imaginary walls were closing in. “I wasn’t cut out for the life I guess.”

“That’s understandable,” said Lyndy.

“Every two years, they force you to be promoted.” He held out his index finger and let Maribel curl her tiny digits over his. She squeezed. “You know, I used to think, if I just get to the next level, that next rung. When I get there, I’ll be happy. I’ll finally be happy. Like I’ll stay in that position and enjoy the finer things. But as soon as I achieved the next level, nothing changed. Not a god damn thing.” He looked down at the baby’s face. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay. She’s heard worse.”

“Within days I was enveloped by the same stress and all I could think about was reaching that next level in the company. Know what I mean?”

“Everyone knows what you mean,” assured Lyndy. “It’s the American way.”

“I could teach a course about it,” said Neil confidently. He stood up.

She wanted to ask about Sierra Spring, but the timing didn’t seem right.

She was embarrassed at what happened next. On the way up she’d been so cautious in choosing her footing, avoiding ice and trying not to tumble. But on the way down she wasn’t watching where she was going, missed a big step and landed hard. Naturally, her body wouldn’t let her drop onto the baby, so she braced herself on her left arm, breaking her fall.

For a second her world froze. She was frightened she’d landed in just the right way to break the bone at the elbow. Mari started wailing, but for good reason, as momma had failed her.

Neil was there in a flash, lifting her up and checking Lyndy’s arm. He had a look of grave concern. Lyndy met his eyes.

“God, are you alright?” He started testing Lyndy’s arm with his fingers, sliding them up and down. She could feel his strong, climber’s hands touching her smooth skin. She didn’t want him to stop, although she was okay.

“It’ll probably end up as just a bruise,” she said at last.